i love you so
by miamachi
Summary: this story is about Mikan, who has a serious illness just read on! and how she coped with her last  please don't be harsh! u can leave CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM but manage to say the NICEST WAY! ciao!
1. Chapter 1

_Brightly shining… this is how she describes the sun… kira-kira… this is how she describes Natsume's eyes…Ruka's smile…Hotaru's smirk…Mr. Narumi's alice…_

_I will miss her… really…_ was all that Misaki can say as she shed her tears…

It was a Monday morning at the Academy. Mikan is walking at the hallway when she passed by Natsume who is reading his manga.

Mikan: Natsume?

Natsume: Hmm?

Mikan: I'm just wondering if you can accompany me to the Central Town.

Natsume: I'm busy.

Mikan: Oh… okay…

Mikan walked away and went ahead to their room.

Sumire: Oh, great! My day is ruined!

Mikan: Hi, Sumire!

Sumire: Ugh! I hate you! Don't you ever, ever! Greet me!

Mikan: I'm just being nice…that's all…

Sumire raised one of her eyebrows and walked away.

Mikan: _Why are they walking away from me? I feel bad about this. I feel bad… my head aches!_

Mikan walked to her seat while touching her head. She feels bad. She feels like fainting.

Natsume: Anything wrong, M-mikan?

Mikan: _He called me, Mikan! He called my name! _Y-yeah… I feel alright.

Natsume: You sure? Do you want to go to the clinic?

Mikan: No… no need…

Natsume walked back to his chair. Ruka asked him.

Ruka: What happened?

Natsume: She just feels bad… I think she's sick. But she doesn't want to be minded of.

Ruka: Oh… okay.

Mr. Narumi walked inside the classroom and began their class. It's a very usual day when suddenly…

Hotaru: MIKAAN!!

Mikan fell to the floor, shoulder-first, she was pale-colored and she her pulse is barely felt. Natsume looked at her, as if he is shocked. Mr. Narumi and Ruka took her to the clinic. Natsume was left in the classroom, still shocked. (Like this - 00)


	2. The News

Natsume: How is Mikan?

These are the first words that came out of his mouth when he visited Mikan after class. Mr. Noda was there to look after her since the others have classes.

Mr. Noda: She's fine. She is taking her sleep. The doctors do not release yet the result of examination. I think she is just over-fatigued.

Natsume: I hope so…

Mikan: Natsume…

Natsume: Mikan?

Mikan: Natsume…

Natsume: I'm here, baka.

Mikan: I thought… you really left me…

Natsume: Baka… don't act like that.

Mr. Noda: Hi, Mikan! Since, Natsume is here; maybe I could leave you now here.

Mikan: Mr. Noda, arigatou!!

Natsume ordered a miso soup at the hospital canteen. Mikan consumed the soup. The gang went to her room and visited her.

Hotaru: Mikan, you are really mischievous, you scared me…

Mikan: I scared you?

Hotaru: A bit…

Mikan: That means you care for me!

Hotaru: It's not that, _asa ka pa;_ I'm scared at corpses...

Mikan giggled childishly. Natsume was excuse at some of his classes in order for him to look after Mikan. The faculty members visit her at daytime.

**Another day, **Mikan is listening to her friends' stories when the doctor called upon Natsume.

Doctor: Natsume, I'm sorry.

Natsume: For what?

Doctor: Mikan, may have leukemia. But, this is just a possibility because she has to undergo another test. Pray for her. Just pray for her. Cures for this kind of cancer is rarely needed here inside the academy. When we looked upon the records, the last leukemia case here is back in the 90's. And the last victim was Mikan's relative.

Natsume: A-are you saying that, if she fails this last test, s-she…

Doctor: Yes, Natsume. I'm sorry. But, we will try our very best to save her.

Natsume looked at Mikan at the window. How sweet she is.

Natsume: NO.


	3. the near end

Natsume called up on Hotaru.

Natsume: I wanted to tell you something.

Hotaru: Spill it.

Natsume: The doctor told me that…

Hotaru: that?

Natsume: That Mikan might have… a cancer.

Hotaru: a c-cancer? What are you up to, black cat? Maybe that's an effect of sleepless nights of looking after Mikan.

Natsume: NO! Listen, weirdo! The doctor told me this afternoon! While you and our friends are in Mikan's room!!

Hotaru: Let me tell you something, Natsume! Let ME tell you something! Mikan, is NOT a cancer patient!!

Natsume: HOTARU!! LISTEN TO ME!! I'm telling you this because I know I can trust you!! I told you this because she is your best friend!

Hotaru let out a tear, then another, until she let out a soft cry. Natsume comforted her back.

Hotaru: No, she cannot be… she will not be…

The next morning, the doctor helped Mikan undergo the last step of examination. Mikan and her doctor went inside a small room. After the test, Mikan waited patiently for the result.

Doctor: Mikan Sakura, I know you are a tough fighter. You are a bright child. I'll pray for you.

Mikan: Thank you, Doc. _Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit nandito ako, at the first place. _

Mikan went back to her room with Natsume.

Mikan: The results will be out this after lunchtime. I wonder what my illness is.

Natsume: Baka. _If only you know…_

Mikan: Natsume…

Natsume looked at her and put on a "what-again look" on his face.

Mikan: I just want to tell you… that I love you… so.

Natsume: Mikan, I really love you… more than anything in this world…

Natsume kissed Mikan's lips. He let her feel how much he longs for her. Mikan, on the other hand, became much more passionate in her kiss…


	4. Last days

**Lunchtime… **Natsume was called upon by the doctor.

Natsume: Is she okay?

Doctor: Natsume… she's not well…

Natsume: Oh Lord…

Doctor: Her cancer is acute leukemia. This kind of leukemia is characterized by the rapid proliferation of immature blood cells. This crowding makes the bone marrow unable to produce healthy blood cells. This is common to children and young adults.

Natsume: I guess… this is how it will end…

Mikan felt the tension in Natsume's presence.

Mikan: Anything wrong, Natsume?

Natsume: Mikan… just remember how much I love you.

Mikan: O-okay…

Natsume sat at Mikan's bedside and kissed her forehead. He held her hand as if he cannot touch it tomorrow.

Mikan: Ah, Natsume… it hurts!

Natsume: Sorry… I just wanted to feel your hand.

Mikan: Oh… _ang arte! _I'm going to take my nap. Just wake me up when they comes.

Natsume went out the room. Ruka, Hotaru, Mr. Narumi, Koko and Yuu found him there staring blankly at the wall.

Yuu: Natsume-kun?

Mr. Narumi: Natsume? Are you okay?

Natsume: Ha? Wh-what?

Ruka: Hotaru told us. Now what?

Natsume: Its… positive…

Almost all of them gasped. They could not believe it. They planned that moment how to make Mikan be happy.

Next day, Mikan was discharged from the hospital but then her doctor visits her regularly at her room in the dorm.

Mikan: I'm back, guys!

Sumire: Oh, crap.

They all checked up on Mikan. Some gave her assistance. Her usual day…

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is this some kind of boring? haha! sorry. im not in the mood of writing. but i want to pass all chapters TODAY. but i can't cause i have some projects.

sorry for those who cannot leave reviews on my work! Just send me a message... il not read it if its from... toot... toot...

haha! leave some comments ha! thanks!


	5. Is This Goodbye? Hindi pa

**CHAPTER FIVE: IS THIS GOODBYE?**

Mikan and Natsume are in the Sakura tree. Mikan is laying her head at Natsume's chest, while Natsume is playing with her hair.

Mikan: kuro-neko…

A black kitten is looking their way, it is hidden behind some bush.

Natsume: Baka. Don't call on that.

Mikan: Come here, kitten…

The kitten was afraid. It was a hand away when Mikan grabbed the kitten and pat its back.

Mikan: Now, now… you're safe.

The kitten saw Natsume's eyes; it jumped off Mikan's arms and ran away.

Mikan: You scared him. Poor kitty.

Natsume: I did not. He jumped off. It's not my fault.

Mikan: Let's go back. I'm feeling bad.

Natsume: Ok, let's go.

Natsume let Mikan sleep first before going to his room. When he was in his room, he thought of his life without Mikan.

Natsume: Miserable… _masaklap._

He slept in his bed. Meanwhile, Mikan is dreaming in her sleep. She dreamt she is going to somewhere; Natsume is left behind, together with her friends. Mikan woke up. She was catching her breath.

Mikan: No… no! No! No! I'm just dreaming!!

She tried to go to sleep but to no avail.

**THE NEXT DAY…**

Mr. Narumi: Okay class, our activity for today is to make your own essay on how to improve your own Alice.

Class: Hai!

Mr. Narumi: You can start now. I'm going to leave you at Yuu's care. Be good, toddlers!

Natsume: Mikan, are you alright? You're pale.

Mikan: Me? I'm feeling okay.

Natsume: What's this? Who did this?

Natsume is pointing to a black-bluish mark on Mikan's arms.

Mikan: I don't even know where I got this. I've just seen it today.

Natsume: And this? (points to another in Mikan's leg)

Mikan: I-I don't know…

Natsume: Does it hurt?

Mikan: A bit. But, it's manageable.

Natsume: Go to my room when you're not doing something important. Let's have your check-up.

Mikan: okay.

Natsume went back to his seat.

Mikan: Natsume…. I'm scared.

Hotaru: Mikan. They are just marks cause of baka gun.

Mikan: Natsume…

Natsume: Hotaru's right. Just because of baka gun.

After they made an essay, they went to the clinic but the doctor is not there so they went to Mikan's room.

Natsume: I have something to tell you, Mikan. I think its time.

Mikan: I want to know my illness. Natsume, please tell me, I know it's fatal. I just want to be sure if I inherited—

Natsume: Inherited what?

Mikan: Tell me. Tell me now.

Natsume: Mikan, you got a serious disease. I'm afraid I might lose you.

Mikan: I'm going to die.

Natsume: Shh… no. You'll not.

Natsume kissed her lips and hugged her tight.

Mikan: Tell me now… please?

Natsume: Mikan, you got leukemia…

Mikan: I knew it. I knew it!

Natsume: Mikan…

Mikan: (nearly crying) I knew it… from the very start… that's why… but I'm not sure! I'm not sure that's why I never said a word…

Natsume: The doctors said they'll find a cure…

Mikan: There's no cure. Let me get some sleep.

Natsume: But…

Mikan: Let me sleep. I'm exhausted.

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Waaaa! I don't know… I guessed I've made this because I have to update. Thanks for the reviews. Uhm… watch out for the ending!


	6. Trying to be Strong

**CHAPTER SIX: I AM TRYING… ITS JUST THAT…**

Mikan is in her class. She was feeling the weird sensation in her body.

Mikan: _I hate this feeling… fuck this leukemia…_

She excused herself and went to the CR. Couple of minutes have passed; Mikan still did not went back to their room. Natsume decided to follow out our brunette. He crept at the wall beside the door of the CR.

Natsume: Mikan! Mikan! Are you in there?

No one answered.

Natsume: Must be the wrong CR. (pauses) Baka… this is the only CR in this building. I must go in. What if there is a girl over there? No… it doesn't matter… just ask her if she saw Mikan… Damn it…

Natsume entered the CR. He looked at the mirror and saw something.

Natsume: MIKAN!

He rushed to the cubicle and saw Mikan lying there unconsciously. He lifts her up and rushed to the clinic. Meanwhile, back to the room, Hotaru was struck by something.

Hotaru: Baka… Ah… Jinno-sensei?

Jinno: Yes?

Hotaru: Mikan…

Jinno: What?

Hotaru: I think something happened to her.

Jinno: You are thinking… you're weird. Just stay calm here. Focus on our lesson.

Hotaru wanted to focus but she couldn't and so… she shot Mr. Jinno a baka gun and went to the clinic.

Natsume: Mikan… Damn it! Wake up!

Doctors: Mr. Hyuuga, CALM DOWN FOR GOD'S SAKE!

Natsume: How could I?! Ha?! Shit, you damn baka.

Doctor: Natsume, please… don't shout!

Hotaru: What happened?

Natsume: I found her lying unconsciously at the CR.

Hotaru: For Pete's sake… Mikan…

Mikan woke up the next day. She was pale and she was losing some of her hair.

Mikan: Natsume?

Natsume: Ne?

Mikan: I'm sorry.

Natsume: Sorry for what?

Mikan: Sorry… because I only lived for you for a short time…

Natsume: Tch. Mikan, do not talk like that.

Mikan: Dish it, Natsume. Face it.

Natsume: What do you want for breakfast?

Mikan: Eggs…

Natsume: I'll get it. Just be here. Hotaru will come back.

Mikan: _Natsume… fool…there's no reason to be idiot in this situation…I'll die…sooner or later…I'll leave you…and you must face it…but no matter what happens… Natsume Hyuuga… I love you so…_

Natsume went back to her room and Mikan is reading a magazine.

Mikan: Natsume… in my fune—

Natsume: Here are your eggs. And Shut your mouth.

Mikan: Are you mad?!

Natsume: I'm not! I'm annoyed!

Mikan: What is so annoying about the truth?!

Natsume: the TRUTH IS ANNOYING!

Mikan: I'm annoyed, kuro-neko! I'm bored! I want to die! I WANT TO DIE!!

Natsume: This NONSENSE! If you want an argument, I'm not going to give in!

Mikan: I just want you to show me you are ready when I die! I want you to show me you are brave! (crying) that is all, Natsume… I may be an idiot but my heart isn't!

Natsume was stunned. It was the very first time that Mikan talked like that. She was crying yet she was strong.

Natsume: (crying softly) why are you excited in dying… Mikan?

Mikan: Because… I wanted to hide all of these fears… the fear of losing…

Natsume: I'm also scared…

Hotaru: Mikan… you are really a grown-up…

Mikan: Hotaru?

Hotaru: I love you… Mikan. That's why we are afraid.

Natsume walked out of the room. Mikan and Hotaru are talking. Around noon, the doctor told Natsume a news… that shocked his life.

Doctor: Natsume, Mikan's days are numbered. We estimate that Mikan an only live up to three to two months from now on.

Natsume: How can you say that?

Doctor : Natsume, Mikan's cancer cells are beginning to be malignant.

Natsume: Shit…

Doctor: I'm sorry, Natsume. It's up to you whether you tell her or not. I told Hotaru Imai first about this. She told me you might get mad.

Natsume: Get out.

The doctor immediately went out.

**TWO WEEKS HAD PASSED**

Mikan: I'm feeling weak.

Yuu: Do you want to eat or drink something?

Mikan: No, thanks, Yuu.

Koko: She's thinking of Natsume.

Mikan: Koko…

Sumire: You might want some apples?

Mikan: No, thanks. I'm glad you're here, Sumire.

Sumire: Haha! _Ano ka ba?_ Of course, I'm here.

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ENDING ALERT! ENDING ALERT! MORE REVIEWS PLEASE!


	7. Goodbye Mikan, Hello Ms Rinji!

**CHAPTER S7VEN: THIS IS GOODBYE…**

Mikan was admitted to the hospital. She was really feeling weak. As days go by, she feels miserable. One day, Natsume decided to take her to a walk. She rode in a wheelchair because she couldn't stand long.

They went to the sakura tree, the very significant tree that bonded them together. Natsume lifted her and let her sit at the Bermuda grass.

Mikan: I remember when you gave me my first kiss.

Natsume: That was good.

Mikan: I really felt happy that time. I never knew that… someone like you could like someone like me.

Natsume: _Ayan ka na naman… _You are underestimating yourself. Mikan, you are great!

Mikan: And, I never knew I could teach you one thing.

Natsume: What's that?

Mikan: I taught you how to smile.

Natsume: Yah… and that what makes you special. So special, Mikan.

Mikan: And… I never thought you'd call me by my name!

Natsume: Name? Haha!

Mikan: Natsume, find yourself a girl. A girl that will give you all your needs. A girl that is someone like me… or greater.

Natsume: There will be no greater nor like you, polka. You are the only one who makes my everything.

Mikan: Aww…

They kissed each other's lips underneath the sakura tree. They returned to the room and ate dinner.

**ANOTHER TWO WEEKS HAD PASSED…**

Mikan: I'm feeling weak.

Natsume: You got to be strong. Just remember that we don't want to lose you.

The door opened.

Kaname: Hi, Mikan! I made a toy for you…

Mikan: Kaname… how are you?

Kaname: HOW ARE YOU?

Mikan: Tch. Kaname, I'm fine. Don't freak out.

Natsume: Mikan, don't be a foolish.

Mikan: I'm really fine!

Kaname: Okay, I'll just leave this here. Bye, Mikan. See you.

Mikan: Thanks for the visit!

An hour passed Mikan keeps on feeling weaker. She couldn't feel anything. She's dumb.

Mikan: Natsume, I want to see them all today.

Natsume: I'll tell them to drop here.

Mikan: I want to see them all. All of them, here by my bedside.

Natsume: O-okay. I'll call up on them.

It was a Saturday morning… the sakura leaves are taken by the wind. One of them landed on Mikan's cheeks and this made her smile.

Mikan: (whisper) Goodbye, Sakura. Thanks for being a symbol in my life.

Half an hour, the gang is complete.

Mikan: Thank you… for being my friends. Thanks for being there for me.

Hotaru: Why are you saying that, baka?

Mikan: Because I can feel that… because I can see the light.

Koko: The light?

Sumire: Omigod, the light?

Mikan: Yes… and my mom! My mom! Mom! Mom! (cries) Mom!

Ruka: Mom?

Mr. Narumi: She is seeing the image of her mother… imaginary…

Mikan: Mommy…

Natsume: Mikan… don't leave us…

Mikan; But, I want to be with my Mom…

Natsume: Can't I have you, Mikan? Can't I?!?

Sumire and some of the girls are already crying in the scenario.

Mikan: Natsume… I love you.

Mikan gripped Natsume's hand tight. Natsume is letting out a tear or two.

Anna: Mikan-chan…!

Nonoko: Mikan…! Don't leave!

Mikan: I love… you guys… I really do…

Natsume: MIKAN!

Ruka: MIKAN!

Natsume and Ruka both said Mikan's name. They are sad and furious. Mr. Narumi and Mr. Noda is wiping tears. Sumire and her friends are crying. Kaname and Koko are shocked.

Mikan: Natsume… I love you… goodbye…

Natsume: MIKAAN!!

**She died,,,**

Misaki: Brightly shining… this is how she describes the sun… kira-kira… this is how she describes Natsume's eyes…Ruka's smile…Hotaru's smirk…Mr. Narumi's alice… I will miss this child… I will miss her really…

Mr. Narumi: Natsume, it's your turn.

Natsume: Mikan Sakura is my life… she gave light to my life… she taught me how to love unconditionally, and she taught me how to smile… (bows his head) she made me realize that I'm worth of something… she made me realize that I deserve this life… this life which I thought was a curse… she taught me how to love and care…

Hotaru: It's my turn now… what I can only say is… Mikan is a cheerful girl who inspires me to invent new things. I love her.

Mikan's body was buried outside the academy. Only Natsume, Ruka, Hotaru and Sumire and the faculty members are the only ones who can go with her and pay their respects. She was buried besides her mother.

**AFTER THREE YEARS…**

Mr. Narumi: Class, you have a new classmate. She is American-born Japanese.

Natsume: Tch. American idiots.

Mr. Narumi: Please meet Mikan Rinji.

Mikan: Hello! It's a pleasure to be here with you.

Mr. Narumi: Mikan Rinji is a two-star student trained in the US. Please be kind to her.

Natsume: Mikan?!

Mikan: _Who is this man? I feel something about him when I looked at his eyes._

Mr. Narumi: Mikan, please sit besides… uhm… Hyuuga Natsume.

After she sat…

Natsume: Mikan?!

Mikan: Hi…

Natsume: I'm Natsume Hyuuga.

Mikan: I'm Mikan Rinji. Nice to meet you. Can you let go of my hand, please?

Natsume: Oh, sure. Sorry.

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Another Mikan into his life!! HAAAYY!! PLEASE GIVE ME SOME COMMENTS!!

at last! i finished na this story... i hope you liked it!! haha!


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